Say, we’re a little annoyed tonight. The cast, if they seem a little down, it’s the censor. Um, the NBC censor’s been very liberal but he knocked out our sketch in which two robbers try to hold up a sperm bank. Now, I figure, we’re all mature. We know there are such things as sperm banks, right? Um, there’s one in New York, in fact. They’re very much like a real bank. The only difference is that with a sperm bank, after you make a deposit, you lose interest.

It may be an oldie but it’s still a goodie! Want to contribute to my account at the Sperm Bank?!?
Call for an appointment with the best naughty nurse, today!
Marie
1-800-915-3137

• 1 Whole Roasting Chicken
• 1 Pack cut-up Fryer (3 split breasts, 3 thighs, 3 drumsticks)
• 4lbs Carrots
• 1 Bunch of Celery
• 2 Onions
• 1 Bunch of Green Onions
• 2 32oz Cans of Swanson’s Chicken Broth
• 1 Package of “No Yolks” Extra Broad Egg Noodles
• 10 Pieces of fresh Garlic
• 1 Package of fresh Thyme
• 1 Package of fresh Sage
• 1 Packet of Lipton’s Onion Soup Mix
• 1 tsp Cinnamon
• 4 Bay leaves
• Non-Iodized Kosher or Table Salt or Sea Salt
• Sugar, Maple Syrup, or Honey

Step 1: In order to have great flavor-filled meat and tasty homemade broth, you need to Brine (check out the link for guidelines to brining poultry) your chicken. This is a process of submerging your poultry in salt/sugar water. I brine my chicken for about 4-5 hours. I use 1c non-iodized kosher salt, 1c of maple syrup, 4-5 sprigs of fresh thyme, 4-5 fresh sage leaves, and 4-5 garlic cloves sliced.
Step 2: Chunk up 4 carrots, 4 stalks of celery, and the 2 onions on the bottom of a big crockpot.
Step 3: Take chicken out of brine, rinse, and put in crockpot with more 4 springs fresh thyme, 4 sage leaves, 4-5 garlic cloves (pressed), the packet of onion soup mix, cinnamon and 2c water (pour slowly because your crockpot will be stuffed full of chicken ) Turn the crockpot on low and let cook for at least 12 hours.
Step 4: Once your chicken is done or almost done, slice up the rest of the celery. Peel and slice up the rest of the carrots. Put them in a kettle with water, lightly salted. Bring to a boil and turn down to medium-high for approximately 10-15 min. The idea is to slightly boil them but still have them firm, not mushy.
Step 5: Take the chicken out and put on plate/cutting board. Use a fine metal strainer to strain your broth into a bowl. Throw away carrots, celery & onions from crockpot.
Step 6: Put entire package of noodles on to boil. Only cook for about 10 minutes (less time than recommended on package) and then drain your noodles and immediately rinse with cold water to help “set” your noodles so they won’t get “mushy” in your soup.
Step 7: De-bone your chicken taking off the skin and make sure to check for those itty bitty “choke you” bones. Dice up the big pieces.
NOTE You’re going to need the crockpot again and a big kettle to finish.
Step 8: Split mostly equally between the crockpot and kettle: broth from crockpot, carrots & celery including the water they were in, chicken, and noodles.
Step 9: Add 1 can of Swanson’s broth to kettle and 1 to crockpot. Add 2 bay leaves to crockpot and 2 to kettle. Put kettle and crockpot on low and let cook together for about the next hour or so.
Step 10: Turn off the kettle and crockpot. Slice up green onions and add 1/2 to kettle and 1/2 to crockpot.

Now you’re ready to enjoy! And I hope you do try it and enjoy it! I know that there’s nothing I love more than a big bowl of my homemade Chicken Noodle Soup except for maybe a mind-blowing orgasm from a good, hard fucking! It warms me up from the inside out … just like you guys do … Orgasmic!
xoxo,
Marie
1-800-915-3137

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 40% Envy: 20% Pride: 20% Wrath: 20% Gluttony: 0% Greed: 0% Sloth: 0% Chance You’ll Go to Hell: 14% You’ll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

Check it out! Give me a call and let me know your results!
xoxo,
Marie
1-800-915-3137

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